Would you provide an reference to the modern definition of love, “The commitment one makes to the best interest of another person, now and in the future,” you quoted?

It sounds very similar to a definition of love by Thomas Jay Oord, “”act[ing] intentionally, in sympathetic response to others, to promote overall well-being”

Tom

Nice bait and switch. We’re not talking about sexual proclivity. We’re talking about birth control.

As for where I’m getting my evidence, look at my citations. These studies are all peer-reviewed and published in respected scientific journals. Hardly the pregnancy-profiteers you’re describing, unless of course you’re stating that anyone who doesn’t support your beliefs is a pregnancy profiteer. You wouldn’t say that, would you?

Jane, people aren’t putting on condoms in a lab. The studies are following people during their normal lives.

Finally, you want me to balance reputable medical journals with the Family Research Council? And you think I’m biased? Okay…

Martin

While I am pleased that you at least agree that sex without love is a meaningless experience, you are wrong about the rest.

Anyone who has ever parented a teenager knows that teens tend to live up to or down to your expectations of them. Double-minded messages always fail. Seriously, you tell them all of the practical reasons to abstain from sex until they are ready to make a life-long commitment but leave them a visual reminder and permission slip — the condom in their hand – and you really think that works?

One of the best studies I’ve ever seen was done by Planned Parenthood in the late 80s called “American Teens Speak.” It showed that teens who had sex education had no higher rate of sexual activity than teens who had not. However, among teens who had what PPH deemed “comprehensive” (with condoms) the rate of sexual activity went up 30 percent. By the way, you won’t find this on PPH’s web site. I have a copy in my files.

Contrary to what you have read – and there is a lot out there – abstinence education does work. If you go to the sites of the pregnancy profiteers you will not get a complete or accurate picture.
Check out my columns under “abstinence” on my homepage.

There is a myth that most teens are sexually active. In truth, less than half of all teens in grades nine through twelve (“2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey,” Centers for Disease Control.) and most wish they had not ( “The Case for the Cautious Generation,” National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. 2002).

As to condom failure rates. Yes, there are studies done under laboratory conditions “consistent and proper use” that show the condom failure rate to be three percent, but not in the real world. In fact condom failure rates among teenagers are much higher. Not hard to figure: teens forget their lunch, their gym bags, their homework assignments and somehow in the heat of passion they are supposed to remember their condoms???

Condoms fail to prevent exposure to HIV/AIDS nearly 16 percent of the time. See “Men With Broken Condoms: Who and Why?,” STI Online. 2006. As for HPV and other stds see “Scientific Evidence on Condom Effectiveness for STD Prevention,” National Institutes of Health. 2001.”

By the way your NEJM study proves my point. People involved in clinical studies tend to be more selective and follow directions. However, the women involved in that study who used condoms still had a 37% chance of contracting HPV. If you knew that a third of all airplanes crashed would you get on one? Of course not! Much too dangerous.

When doing your research on pregnancy and stds, if you truly have an open mind, I would suggest that you balance what you are now reading with some information from Family Research Council or Abstinence Clearing House.

However, as Woody Allen once said, ‘as far as meaningless experiences go, it’s the best.’ Sorry, couldn’t resist.

The devil, as they say, is in the details, and that’s where your argument breaks down, specifically in the area of condoms. Let’s walk through some details, shall we?

“When we pass out the condoms, what we are really telling our young people is “Play now; pay later.”” Uh, no. Actually, using condoms indicates that someone is behaving responsibly. Not using condoms, that’s paying later.

“While condoms often fail to prevent pregnancy-” Huh? According to three recent studies (DeVincenzi et al., Saracco et al., and Deschamps et al.) condom failure is about 3%. That means that, given consistent and proper use, you have a 97% chance of preventing pregnacy. That doesn’t sound like ‘often’ to me.

“Condoms fail to prevent exposure to HIV/AIDS nearly 16 percent of the time.” Uh, no. According to studies by the CDC, NIH, and FDA (Davis & Weller-Fam Plann Perspect, 1999; 31: 272-279; Pinkerton & Abramson-Soc Sci Med 1997; 44: 1303-1312,) contraction of HIV was .9% with constant condom use, as opposed to 6.7% without condom use. That’s an 85% reduction in risk by using condoms.

“Also, there is no scientific evidence that condoms prevent the transmission of HPV as well as a host of other sexually transmitted diseases.” The New England Journal of Medicine (Vol. 354:2645-2654, No. 25, Jun 22, 2006) published a study (Winer et al) that showed women who used condoms had a 37% chance of contracting HPV, as opposed to 89% for women who didn’t use condoms. Similar results were found even when the sample was restricted to women with high-risk partners. In short, condoms do substantially reduce the risk of contracting HPV. A host of other studies have shown consistent protection against other STD’s. BTW, the above study was in 2006. That’s two years ago. Easy to find, if you’re looking.

Look, I said I agree with the substance of your argument–abstinence or one-partner relations over time are the most effective means of preventing a lot of bad things. The prblem is that you and other like-minded folk have decided that abstinence should be the only bullet in the gun.

Telling people to just say no is fine. But what if they don’t listen? People will have sex. Period. It is one of the most basic urges of the human animal, and it won’t be stopped by hanging a ‘no entry’ sign over your naughty bits.

Recent studies nationwide have shown that abstinence-only sex education programs have had zero effect on teen pregnancy or transmission of STD’s. In fact, the science behind some the programs have been ludicrous at best, to the point where some porgrams have actually instructed that HIV can be contracted from a toilet seat! That sort of ‘touch it and you’ll go blind’ instruction might have worked in the good old Victorian days, when children worked in factories and women were married off before they stopped believing in Santa Claus, but it doesn’t work now.

In short, there is no reason why abstinence programs cannot be augmented with education about basic contraception.

But I do agree with one thing: love is the greatest force for good in the human heart. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Good column about love. Especially now the world does not know anything about agape, and most denominational churches in this country know little or nothing about it as well. Christian churches are supposed to shape society, but most churches today lacking agape merely reflect society.