Come on in, Fred, The water’s fine

I am disappointed that the Fourth of July week came and went without an announcement from Fred Thompson that he has, indeed, entered the race to become the next president. Fred’s still testing the water. In the Rasmussen poll, Fred already is leading the entire GOP field as an “unannounced” candidate.

Come on in, Fred! The water’s fine. If it gets much warmer, you are not going to be able to stand it.

Why do you think all those Democrat candidates outpaced Republicans in the second quarter of fundraising? The GOP faithful are waiting for you.

We have seen the top tier GOP candidates strut their stuff, and we don’t like what we’ve seen. Rudy Giuliani is a serial philanderer who is wrong on social issues and the cherished right to bear arms. John McCain left 75 percent of the electorate behind when he teamed up with Ted Kennedy to try to shove the amnesty bill down our throats. Conservatives remain skeptical of Mitt Romney because, as a practicing member of the Mormon church, he was willing to sell his soul on abortion and gay rights to get elected governor of Massachusetts.

No time for wading, Fred. Jump in the water before it boils!

In a perfect world, where every citizen understands the necessity of being actively involved in the process of selecting the next president of the United States, we wouldn’t need you. You could keep your cushy acting job and enjoy life with your wife and two young children.

In a perfect world, true-blue conservatives would be throwing money at Mike Huckabee (who won each of the three presidential debates hands-down), Tom Tancredo (my personal favorite) or Duncan Hunter, the feisty former chairman of the House Armed Services Committee.

In a perfect world, these men would be the first tier candidates and you could afford to prop up your feet and let someone else do the heavy lifting.

But, in this not so perfect world, where most people sleep through the primary season, you are the last and best hope for the Republican Party … and the country.

When you jump in, the splash will be big enough to sink the three GOP front-runners, and it might just be big enough to awaken the slumbering masses.

Don’t worry about the snide little remarks about your “trophy wife.” If Jeri were ugly, the fact that she is 24 years your junior would not be gathering newsprint. The hard-core feminists, who make up a substantial part of the Democrat Party, think it is a disgrace for a woman to make herself beautiful. They work at being dowdy. They have forgiven their heroine, Hillary Clinton, for wearing makeup and dressing in pastels in an effort to make her husband, and now herself, attractive to voters. They known that, deep down, Hillary – who only donned makeup and began shaving her legs in the interest of political expediency – is in her heart of hearts the same horned-rimmed, stringy-haired woman she was in the ’60s.

Fred, we know that you were a “successful” bachelor for over 20 years. We also know that, before you were elected to the Senate, you had not carefully examined the issue of abortion. However, once you did your homework, you voted 100 percent pro-life.

The most troubling thing about your past is that you once represented ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. In 1991, Aristide was democratically elected, but ruled as a brutal dictator before he was run out of the country by his military. Aristide was propped up by Bush 41 and later given asylum. In 1994, he was forced back onto his country by Bill Clinton. I’ve never heard Bush 41 or Clinton admit that Aristide was a mistake. In fact, I’d never heard anyone on the left speak of Aristide’s atrocities until it was learned that you once represented him.

No, Fred, you are not perfect – no one is – but you are perfect for this time. You are right on the issues that most Americans hold dear. And, you don’t try to hide your position on the issues that divide us. You make your case and let the chips fall where they may.

You don’t need the presidency. In fact, should you become president, you likely will be less popular than you are today. You have been successful in three of the most difficult professions on earth. More importantly, you have remained the kind of guy that most anyone would be comfortable having over for dinner.

So come on in. The water is fine. In fact, it’s never been better.

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